Is There a Line between Pride and Sin?

Over the past few months, the concept of pride has surfaced repeatedly in my life. It began after lobbying at the Capitol with a friend, resurfaced in a morning Bible study discussion with my kids on comparison and judgment, and then appeared in a conversation with another friend, followed by a Facebook post. It's clear that God is drawing my attention to this area.

Like many, I've often used seemingly benign phrases with my children, such as “I am proud of you,” “Take pride in your appearance,” and “Take pride in your work and who you are.” Our society is saturated with similar expressions: “Have some self-respect,” “You need to have school pride,” and “We should have national pride.” We even dedicate an entire month to "pride."

As someone far from a biblical expert (more of a biblical embryo), navigating this topic in a blog post will be challenging. However, given its persistent appearance in my life, I feel called to explore it and share it. While these common sayings appear harmless on the surface, and I believe most who use them don't intend to do so sinfully, I'm acutely aware of our society's increasing acceptance of sin. Everything I've learned from the Bible stands in stark contrast to many societal norms, making it impossible for me to view pride any different than widely accepted sins like lust or jealousy.

Biblical references offer a clear perspective: Proverbs 8:13 states, "The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate." Proverbs 16:5 declares, "Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished." James 4:6 and 1 Peter 5:5 both say, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble," highlighting pride's opposition to God. Proverbs 16:18 warns, "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall," while Proverbs 11:2 notes, "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." Luke 14:11 teaches, "For all those  who exalts themselves will be humbled, and those who humbles themselves will be exalted." Then, the account of King Nebuchadnezzar in Daniel 4 illustrates how pride led to his humbling. These are just a few of the many biblical cautions against pride.  

My central question then becomes: can I have pride in my appearance or in my children’s abilities without it being sinful? If so, how do we navigate that delicate line? When does pride transform into sin?

What constitutes sinful pride? This is characterized by arrogance, an inflated sense of self-importance (Romans 12:3), a disregard for God and others, and a feeling of entitlement. It's putting oneself and one's accomplishments on a pedestal. Conversely, a healthy sense of satisfaction or taking care of oneself, when rooted in gratitude and a desire to honor God (1 Corinthians 10:31), is different. Perhaps using words like 'joy,' 'satisfaction,' 'diligence,' or 'stewardship' might be more accurate in those contexts. Pride is considered a significant sin because it was a key factor in Lucifer's fall (though not explicitly stated, it's a common theological understanding based on Isaiah 14:12-15) and it inherently places self before God, hindering our dependence on Him. 

1 Corinthians 4:7, “For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that ou did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?” deeply resonated with me, prompting reflection on my expressions of pride towards my children. In our family, gratitude is a daily practice; it’s how we start our morning bible study. Lately, when telling my children I'm proud, I to add, “I’m so thankful that God gave you such amazing gifts.” We regularly acknowledge God's provision for even basic comforts like clothes and running water. But is acknowledging God in all things sufficient to avoid crossing into sinful pride? Should the very word and concept of "pride" be banished entirely?

While delving into this subject, I read that when saying “I am proud of you” to my children, I should try to ensure my focus is on their effort, their character development, and the gifts God has given them, rather than just the outcome. For example, instead of just saying "I'm proud you got an A. Similarly, when I say, “Take pride in your appearance,” I'm now considering if the emphasis is on honoring God through good stewardship and reflecting His image (Colossians 3:17), or if it could be misconstrued as seeking worldly approval. Perhaps phrasing it as, "Take care of your appearance as a way to honor God and show respect," would be clearer.

Our discussion on judgment and comparison illuminated pride's role, as judging others inherently assumes our superiority. Comparison, even when we perceive others as better, can also be rooted in a form of self-judgment potentially fueled by pride. I've only begun to realize the depth of this topic.

Focus on the Family wrote an article entitled, "Parental Pride vs. Sinful Pride”. This directly addresses pride in children, distinguishing between a parent's delight in a child's accomplishments (akin to love and God's pride in Jesus) and the sin of arrogance. They emphasize that expressing pride can build self-esteem, grounded in our creation in God's image (Genesis 1:27), while cautioning against the self-sufficiency that fuels sinful pride.

C.S. Lewis, in "Mere Christianity," labels pride the "great sin," differentiating it from the pleasure of praise. Sinful pride arises when we believe we deserve praise or feel superior. Applied to children, joy in their achievements is natural, but it becomes sinful when it breeds a belief in their inherent superiority or disregards God's role.  

The crucial takeaway for me is the need for constant self-monitoring regarding pride in my children. The transition from well-meaning encouragement to sin can be instantaneous. Cultivating a strong relationship with God and remembering that our children, like us, are first and foremost children of God, with all our abilities stemming from Him, is vital.

While the nuances of pride in appearance, actions, and possessions warrant further exploration, the pervasive nature of pride in our society compels me to share this initial, albeit incomplete, reflection.

A recent experience during lobbying brought this issue into sharper focus for me. The professional dress code I adhere to felt appropriate, respecting the setting and the individuals present. However, despite a successful lobbying effort, a sense of injustice arose when another organization seemed to claim credit for our months of work. I knew immediately that the feeling was sin and I felt shame. Regardless of the outcome, all praise belongs to God. While our team worked diligently, that effort was only possible through God's provision of time and energy. Ultimately, the outcome and any "credit" are His alone. My frustration at another's perceived claim was rooted in pride. Reflecting with a friend, we realized how the very act of lobbying – the way we dress, the ability to influence decision-makers – can subtly inflate one's sense of importance, leading to pride.

Romans 12:2 is one of my favorite verses and remains a guiding principle: "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." To me, this verse is central to understanding comparison, judgment, and pride. Our world often encourages keeping up with appearances, boasting about achievements, and seeking credit. Resisting these worldly patterns and actively pursuing a transformed mindset might be the key to distancing ourselves from the sin of pride.

To further examine ourselves, we can ask: Who am I trying to impress (Galatians 1:10)? Do I find myself comparing myself to others (2 Corinthians 10:12)? Am I quick to take credit and slow to acknowledge God's role (Psalm 115:1)? Does my sense of worth depend on my achievements or appearance? Am I able to humbly accept criticism or failure (Proverbs 12:1)?

Ultimately, cultivating humility is the antidote to sinful pride. Biblical humility involves acknowledging our dependence on God (John 15:5), valuing others above ourselves (Philippians 2:3), and maintaining a teachable spirit (Proverbs 19:20).

This ended up being a wonderful study for me and I hope to continue to focus on this topic! Perhaps this leaves you with more questions than answers, and perhaps it will prompt further reading, prayer, and reflection. It has certainly done so for me.