Don’t Compare Yourself to Others. Stay in Your Lane: Why I’m Not Trying to Be a Fancy Soap Maker

I never set out to be a homeschool mom, a soap maker, or even a follower of Jesus Christ. These are all “titles” that have been given to me by God in the last six years. And I am grateful and loving every minute of it, despite myself. I try to get in the way sometimes and mess things up, but so far God has pulled me back to Him and what He wants me to be.

I realized this when scrolling through my business Facebook page the other day. A hazard of owning a business is the necessity of being on social media. It really does me no favors personally, and I hope to figure out a way to get off of it completely one day. Even though that might be a pipe dream, I’m going to keep hoping that maybe, just maybe, we can all function and thrive without Facebook. But for now, here I am.

Anyway, I was scrolling under my business profile, and Facebook’s algorithms think I need to see the pages of other soap makers—many, many other soap makers. This creates a fantastic opportunity for me to compare myself. Maybe you’ve heard the old saying, “compare and despair”? Well, comparing yourself to others (in my experience) never ends well.

From a biblical standpoint (which I am learning to lean on more and more), in 2 Corinthians 10:12 (ESV) it says,

“Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.”

Paul is warning us not to compare ourselves to human standards. We are to lean on God’s standards for us. And in Romans 12:4–6 (ESV) it reads,

“For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them…” 

Paul compares our gifts to the parts of a body—each with different functions. We are given these gifts from God (not by our own doing), and we should honor Him by using them.

There are so many AMAZING soap makers out there. They are true artists who create beautiful creations. As I was scrolling, the devil whispered, “You’re not that good. They’re better than you. Why are you pretending to be a soap maker?” Ugh, that dude is the worst. And if left to my own devices, I could believe every single word he says.

Instead, this time I turned to God for validation, for guidance, for peace and comfort. “Am I in the right place, Lord? Am I going where You want me to? Please let me be obedient. Let Your will be done.” Here’s the thing—maybe I’m not a soap maker. If it turns out to be that, then Lord, lead me to where You want me!

But here’s what I’m not—I’m not an artisan soap maker, and that is perfectly okay. The beauty is in the simplicity of what I make. I’m not fancy. I don’t have to be. I’ve never really been fancy.

When I got my first “real” job out of college, I thought I was fancy. I had a matching 401k and wore pantyhose, high heels, suit jackets, and big costume jewelry to overcompensate for what I thought I lacked. Maybe it was the environment I was in that influenced my style, but I also remember thinking I wasn’t smart enough for the job and that it was just a matter of time before they figured out they had made a mistake. I was absolutely comparing myself to others and not living as a child of God.

I didn’t grow up fancy. We grew up with everything we needed—but with modest things. That’s pretty much how our family lives now. Nothing fancy, just modest, and God provides everything we need. I relate more to jeans and a T-shirt than pantyhose and high heels. I relate more to a home-cooked meal than a five-star restaurant. I relate more to “why throw it away if it’s still got some life in it?” than “replace it because there’s a newer model available.” I just relate to simple more than anything else.

My mom used to say, “It takes all kinds to make the world go ‘round.” And the Bible says something similar. In Romans (mentioned above), we’re reminded that we are each unique and have different roles, but we’re also meant to be unified in that diversity. The body, although varied, works together.

So why would I try to be a fancy soap maker if I’m not a fancy person? God didn’t make all of us the same, and He didn’t ask us to be. He simply asks us to be faithful with what He’s given us.

This is who God made me, just as He made others different from me. I am in no way knocking those artisan soap makers—they are true artists and so good at their craft. I’m just stressing what has been reinforced in me recently: don’t try to be someone you’re not. There is so much joy and peace when you figure out what lane you’re supposed to be in and stop trying to jump the median into someone else’s.

Fancy people can buy fancy soap. Simple people can buy simple soap. One is not better than the other.

Here’s what happens when a simple person buys a fancy bar of soap, though—they never use it! LOL. Literally, I’d never use it.

Years ago I was gifted a fantastic soap set shaped like Michigan and the Upper Peninsula (where I was born and raised). It was a beautiful swirl of blue and white tones and perfectly shaped—true artistry. It was so long ago I can’t even remember who gave it to me, but I ran across that soap set shortly after I started making soap. It was in my bathroom, collecting dust, never used. Because it was too pretty. Too fancy.

I’m happy to report that I eventually willed myself to use that soap so it didn’t go to waste. But every time I picked it up it made me a little sad that it was losing its shape because of me using it. It was honestly a sad moment every time I washed my hands. I’m not being dramatic either—this is what happens when a simple person uses fancy soap.

This may be a simple concept (a cliche even)—that each of us is different, with different talents, and we shouldn’t compare our gifts or calling to others; however, with the ability to compare ourselves not just to our neighbors and friends, but to thousands and thousands of people around the world, I think it bears repeating often. We live in a world that constantly encourages comparison through social media, and to make things worse, we often don’t even know what is real and what isn’t.

At the end of the day, the question isn’t whether we measure up to someone else. The question is whether we are being faithful with what God has given us. God didn’t ask me to be the best soap maker on the internet. He didn’t ask me to be fancy, impressive, or to compete with thousands of other people. He simply asked me to be obedient.

And obedience looks different for each of us.

Some people are called to create incredible works of art. Some people are called to create simple things that serve everyday needs. Both matter. Both have purpose.

So I’m going to keep making my simple soap, living my simple life, and trusting that God knew exactly what He was doing when He made me the way I am. Because the moment we stop trying to be someone else is usually the moment we finally become who God created us to be.